My former manager sent me a text last month. We hadn't spoken in two years. The message was simple: "Hey, saw your company in the news. Hope you're well." That was it. We scheduled coffee the next week. He later told me he'd set a reminder to check in with former colleagues every quarter. The system worked.
Most people don't lose touch on purpose. Work gets busy. Weeks turn into months. By the time you think about reaching out, it feels awkward—like you need a reason. You don't. You need a template and a rhythm.
The Problem: Professional Networks Fade Without a System
Career relationships aren't like friendships. They require maintenance, but the rules are unwritten. Reach out too often and you seem needy. Wait too long and you're forgotten. The result? A network that exists in name only—LinkedIn connections who never hear from you.
Memory isn't a strategy. Neither is guilt. I've watched talented colleagues lose opportunities because their contacts went cold. Not from malice. From silence.
The Solution: Three-Tier Monthly Check-In System
Not every professional relationship needs the same attention. Group your contacts into three tiers. Each gets its own template and rhythm.
Tier 1: High-Priority Relationships
These are mentors, key collaborators, and advocates. People who've directly shaped your career. You want to stay top-of-mind without being overwhelming.
Monthly template:
- "Hi [Name], I was thinking about [specific project/memory]. Hope you're doing well. Any exciting updates on your end?"
- "Hey [Name], saw [article/news related to their work]. Made me think of our conversation about [topic]. Hope you're great."
- "[Name], quick check-in. I'm working on [brief project update]. Would love to hear what you're focused on these days."
Send these first Monday of each month. Takes 30 seconds. Keeps the line warm.
Tier 2: Mid-Level Professional Contacts
Former colleagues, industry peers, conference connections. People you like and respect but don't interact with daily. The goal is presence, not pressure.
Monthly template:
- "Hi [Name], it's been a while. How's [their company/role] treating you?"
- "Hey [Name], hope you're well. Saw you [posted/achieved something]. Congrats!"
- "[Name], thinking about you. What's new in your world?"
Send these second Monday of each month. Rotate through your list. If you have 30 contacts, you reach six per month. Everyone hears from you twice a year. That's enough.
Tier 3: Extended Network
People you met once, LinkedIn connections you value, former classmates. You want to maintain the thread without creating work for either of you.
Monthly template:
- "Hi [Name], hope you're doing well. Just checking in."
- "Hey [Name], thinking of you. Hope all's good."
Send these third Monday of each month. Simple. Low stakes. Better than nothing, which is what most people send.
How to Handle Different Priority Levels in Practice
Let's say you have 90 professional contacts. You'd assign 10 to Tier 1, 30 to Tier 2, and 50 to Tier 3. That's 10 high-priority texts monthly, 6 mid-level texts monthly (rotating), and 4-5 extended network texts monthly (rotating).
One Monday morning per month, you send 10 texts to Tier 1. Another Monday, you send 6 texts to Tier 2. A third Monday, you send 5 texts to Tier 3. Total time investment: 15 minutes per month. Total relationships maintained: 90.
The key is consistency over cleverness. My colleague Sarah puts a 30-minute block on her calendar every Monday morning. She opens her notes, copies the template, personalizes one detail, and sends. She's landed two job offers and three client referrals this year from contacts who hadn't heard from her in 18 months before she started.
Making the System Actually Work
Start with five people. Don't build a database. Pick five contacts you've been meaning to reach out to. Assign them tiers. Send one text today. That's the whole system.
Next month, add five more. By month three, you have a rhythm. By month six, it's automatic.
Some people use a simple spreadsheet. Others use a notes app. I've seen professionals set recurring calendar reminders with the contact names in the description. The tool doesn't matter. The rhythm does.
If you want support without complexity, a tool like Extndly can track who you've contacted and when to reach out next. But a phone reminder works fine too. The important part is deciding that staying in touch matters enough to systematize it.
What to Do When They Respond
Most people respond. They're happy to hear from you. Have one follow-up question ready: "What's your biggest priority right now?" or "What are you excited about?" Then listen. The conversation will flow.
If they don't respond, that's data. Move them down a tier or check in less frequently. The system self-corrects.
Professional networks aren't built in a day. They're maintained one text at a time. Monthly templates remove the friction. You already know what to say. You just need to say it.